Before I went into university, I didn't have a dream. I didn't know what I came to this world for. I didn't even get close to this issue at all.
I was, and still am, a typical fanatic of sports, such as football, NBA, NBL, F1 etc. In elementary school, playing football was the only thing I cared about. In secondary school, watching sports games in TV became my best interest. I didn't know why I was in this world, what I wanted to do in the future, where I would suppose to be, when I supposed to come front to myself, which position I should be in, etc. so many wh-clauses, so many things I didn't know and never occurred to my mind. At best, I was just an arrogant, ignorant and irritant boy, loving a bunch of lowbrows and fooling around the city. However, I remember the days were very happy.
Yes, happy for my arrogance, ignorance and irritance, with which, I hurt several people I loved. Although they had forgiven me long ago, forgiveness from myself never came to my mind. Sometimes, I have an impulse to write down everything that I've done wrongly and that I've been sorry for, like St. Augustine. Sometimes, I desired to be baptized and confess to the Jesus. Hopefully, he could help me wash my sin and save my soul from self-accusation.
Unknowing how 18 years had passed, freshman year came to me. In the university, I came closer to the society. After all, several years after, I had to find a job for living. I encountered an English teacher who could recite an English dictionary. She ran from the northern China to southern coast. I didn’t know what the reason was. Whatever, she has gone back to the north. Her face, which was older than her age, seemed showing that she might have been chasing her dream for which she suffered and sacrificed a lot. Then, I couldn’t resist but wonder, "What is my dream?"
In the second semester of freshman year, I met an English teacher, who got her doctoral degree in University of Leiden, which was one of the most prestigious universities in Europe. She was a very impressive teacher. She not only eliminated my arrogance, but also guided me to genuine knowledge, to the truth. Most importantly, she helped me found my dream. I knew I wanted to be an English teacher, teaching English major in some university someday. Although it was not a dream for life, at least I knew my purpose, which was late.
Sophomore years arrived in fall, 2005. Another teacher came to my life. He taught History of Christianity. The more I read about Christianity, the nicer I became. Irritatance disappeared. Actually, this is nothing about my dream. However, it did develop my interest in arts. This semester, I meet a teacher who is very devoted. I have four courses of hers. All she teaches is of arts. I think I can learn a lot from her. Then, ignorance remains. I don't afraid of that. The ignorance inside me has changed. I didn't know I was ignorant before. Now at least, I know it. Even, Socrates knew his ignorance; I don't know why I should be afraid of that.
To be an English teacher, especially one who teaching English major, is unimaginable for any student who is still doing his B.A. I devote most of my time to study. After I've found my dream, I become more diligent than ever before. One day, I missed lunch time. A classmate asked, "Why didn't you have lunch? You've been crazy about the books." A roommate replied, "He doesn't even have the time for shitting, how could he have time for lunch?"
Today, suddenly, I am very tired. I feel I am collapsing. I don't feel like studying at all. Watching roommates playing computer games, looking at the moist green leaves outside the window, sitting at the computer table, I am thinking and writing staff. I begin to doubt myself. I wonder whether one day the God will judge my dream, take me to his face, and claim, "Boy, your dream is guilty." Is it too hard for me? I think of the girl who complained her hardship to me last evening. My words made her comfortable at last. I remembered I said, "Complaint is understandable; Giving up is unacceptable." Then I think of Alexander the Great. He was one of the greatest people in human history who died for chasing his dreams. He really inspires me.
I suddenly realize that I am lucky that I have found my dream and chasing it with my greatest efforts. I don't expect to be a great person like Alexander the Great. But, I have a dream.
I was, and still am, a typical fanatic of sports, such as football, NBA, NBL, F1 etc. In elementary school, playing football was the only thing I cared about. In secondary school, watching sports games in TV became my best interest. I didn't know why I was in this world, what I wanted to do in the future, where I would suppose to be, when I supposed to come front to myself, which position I should be in, etc. so many wh-clauses, so many things I didn't know and never occurred to my mind. At best, I was just an arrogant, ignorant and irritant boy, loving a bunch of lowbrows and fooling around the city. However, I remember the days were very happy.
Yes, happy for my arrogance, ignorance and irritance, with which, I hurt several people I loved. Although they had forgiven me long ago, forgiveness from myself never came to my mind. Sometimes, I have an impulse to write down everything that I've done wrongly and that I've been sorry for, like St. Augustine. Sometimes, I desired to be baptized and confess to the Jesus. Hopefully, he could help me wash my sin and save my soul from self-accusation.
Unknowing how 18 years had passed, freshman year came to me. In the university, I came closer to the society. After all, several years after, I had to find a job for living. I encountered an English teacher who could recite an English dictionary. She ran from the northern China to southern coast. I didn’t know what the reason was. Whatever, she has gone back to the north. Her face, which was older than her age, seemed showing that she might have been chasing her dream for which she suffered and sacrificed a lot. Then, I couldn’t resist but wonder, "What is my dream?"
In the second semester of freshman year, I met an English teacher, who got her doctoral degree in University of Leiden, which was one of the most prestigious universities in Europe. She was a very impressive teacher. She not only eliminated my arrogance, but also guided me to genuine knowledge, to the truth. Most importantly, she helped me found my dream. I knew I wanted to be an English teacher, teaching English major in some university someday. Although it was not a dream for life, at least I knew my purpose, which was late.
Sophomore years arrived in fall, 2005. Another teacher came to my life. He taught History of Christianity. The more I read about Christianity, the nicer I became. Irritatance disappeared. Actually, this is nothing about my dream. However, it did develop my interest in arts. This semester, I meet a teacher who is very devoted. I have four courses of hers. All she teaches is of arts. I think I can learn a lot from her. Then, ignorance remains. I don't afraid of that. The ignorance inside me has changed. I didn't know I was ignorant before. Now at least, I know it. Even, Socrates knew his ignorance; I don't know why I should be afraid of that.
To be an English teacher, especially one who teaching English major, is unimaginable for any student who is still doing his B.A. I devote most of my time to study. After I've found my dream, I become more diligent than ever before. One day, I missed lunch time. A classmate asked, "Why didn't you have lunch? You've been crazy about the books." A roommate replied, "He doesn't even have the time for shitting, how could he have time for lunch?"
Today, suddenly, I am very tired. I feel I am collapsing. I don't feel like studying at all. Watching roommates playing computer games, looking at the moist green leaves outside the window, sitting at the computer table, I am thinking and writing staff. I begin to doubt myself. I wonder whether one day the God will judge my dream, take me to his face, and claim, "Boy, your dream is guilty." Is it too hard for me? I think of the girl who complained her hardship to me last evening. My words made her comfortable at last. I remembered I said, "Complaint is understandable; Giving up is unacceptable." Then I think of Alexander the Great. He was one of the greatest people in human history who died for chasing his dreams. He really inspires me.
I suddenly realize that I am lucky that I have found my dream and chasing it with my greatest efforts. I don't expect to be a great person like Alexander the Great. But, I have a dream.
